2015年10月25日

Today, I pulled a...

Today, I pulled a girl out of the way of a car. She yelled at me because I made her drop her phone, which then got run over. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は車の邪魔にならない女の子を引っ張った。上で実行し、彼女の電話をドロップ彼女を作られたので、彼女は私に怒鳴った。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, I got mugged...

Today, I got mugged for my phone. I stupidly offered to give the guy my money if he'd let me keep my phone. He took both. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は自分の携帯電話に襲われて得た。私は愚かにも彼はどうしても私に私の電話を保つ場合男に私のお金を与えると申し出た彼は両方を取った。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, I picked up...

Today, I picked up my car after I got it painted. As I backed up in the parking lot, my car scraped against a pillar. Now I have to put it right back in the shop. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私はそれを描いた後、私の車を選んだ。私は駐車場でバックアップ、私の車は柱をかすった。今私はそれを置く店に戻って右します。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife

Today, thanks to pregnancy...

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、妊娠ホルモンのおかげで私私の目を叫んだ時間 9 年前私を捨てた人に。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife

Today, I walked in...

Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going". She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は私のガール フレンドのズボンと彼のための彼女のうめき声を手で私の親友に歩いてください。

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:28 | FMyLife

Today, I woke up...

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は 2 時に起きて、トイレに行きました。そこに座っていたに声ささやくような声を聞いたとき私の後ろから私の名前で私の事業を行います。私は一人暮らし、トイレも壁に突き当たって右。私の部屋に戻って動いたし、夜の残りのためのスリープせずに行った私叫んだ。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:28 | FMyLife

Today, I received the...

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
本日、届きましたの名誉称号

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:27 | FMyLife

Today, my husband and...

Today, my husband and I spent 10 of our last $20 on pizza. Upon arriving home, I stepped out of the car and slipped on some mud, losing my balance and dropping the open box right into the mud. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私の夫と私は、ピザを私たちの最後の $20 の 10 を過ごした。到着ホーム、私は車から降りた、私のバランスを失うと、泥の中に右オープン ボックスをドロップいくつかの泥の上で滑っています。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:27 | FMyLife

2015年10月24日

Today, my two sons...

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" (the object over which they were quarrelling) and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、二人の息子が戦っていた。コメント、していた

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, I had such...

Today, I had such a big hiccup that I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は後方階段から落ちたような大きなしゃっくりがあった。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, after six weeks...

Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、様々 な害虫駆除業者を扱う 6 週間後私のルームメイトと私あったについて私たちは何に乾杯するワスプ ルーム。これは、時、我々 はいくつかのはるかに小さいハチが飛んで、気づいた。私たちのハチの問題はない解決、しか、私たちの部屋はハチの飼育場。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife

Today I walked into...

Today I walked into my living room to find my housemate sitting on the couch, bollock naked, trimming his pubes with scissors. He's surprised I have an issue with this. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日は私の同居人、裸、ボロックのソファに座って彼の陰毛をハサミでトリミングを見つけるための私のリビング ルームに歩いた彼はこの問題を持っている驚いています。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife

Today, I babysat for...

Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は私の隣人のガキ子供のベビーシッター。お母さんは私に $15 5 時間。最後の時間私は 15 $/時間を得たので家に着いたとき、私は私の母に訴えた。私の母が判明は、彼らは私にあまりにも多くの最後の時間を支払っていたと思った私の隣人を伝えていた。ありがとうお母さん。ありがとうございます。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:28 | FMyLife

Today, while on a...

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、昼食時に散歩中に私はおしっこをする緊急必要。自分自身を和らげるためにいくつかの茂みに滑ってオフィスに戻ってそれを作ることを考えていません。つもりだったと私は側に見て、私を睨み返した同僚を見た。彼らはセックスをした、私を私のディックとそこ。ぎこちない。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:28 | FMyLife

Today, my classmate went...

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私のクラスメートは怒りモードに入った、どのクラスで、ヒジャーブを着用できるだが、彼女はフラミンゴの帽子を着用する許可されていないのでフェアじゃないと文句を私に呪われました。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:27 | FMyLife

Today, at work, I...

Today, at work, I was fired from my job for being too "forward" to my boss. All I did was get him coffee and a biscuit from McDonald's to celebrate his 15-year anniversary working there. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
余りにも私の仕事から解雇された職場では、今日、

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:27 | FMyLife

2015年10月23日

Today, my soon to...

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私すぐに元妻は離婚を取得しているので、私は物理的に虐待的なこと彼女の友人に語った。真実よりも聞こえがね: 彼女が教えている子おそらくではないも私に彼女の妊娠に 8 ヶ月を待っていた。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, as I snuck...

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私は深夜映画の階下に潜入と、私は私の父を目撃しました。

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:30 | FMyLife

Today, my long time...

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私の長い間のガール フレンドを訪問する国の間で飛んだ。私のルームメイトは asshat 浴室の中彼女に自分自身を導入することを決めた。彼女は左、私の呼び出しに応答しません。彼は彼が彼女に言った私をまったく教えてくれません。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife

Today, my sister asked...

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
<Bing Translator API翻訳>
今日、私の妹は、私は彼女にいくつかのトイレット ペーパーを取得する尋ねた。私は拒否したので、ランドリー バスケットの外の私のお気に入りのシャツをつかんで彼女を拭くために使用します。私は忙しい私の足首をアイシングします。私は歩くことができなかった。彼女はこれを知っていた。FML

<Google Language API翻訳>


posted by FML at 01:29 | FMyLife